knowledge is power right? will not respond to h's email yet. h is willing to split all finances. need to see attorney.i have no job. been SAH mom. health insurance thru his job will go away. he will take care of kids financial needs, don't doubt that.we have had a good and financially easy life due in a big part to an inheritance left by his mom. that party is over for me.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
and so the D begins. How I wish to be back in limbo land!
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Well said hotwheelsaus....Sorry for your pain willbwell. This just isn't fair but it is what it is and like so many others we deal with it the best way we can.
Bright, Hotwheels, and 2old. thanks for checking in.
h is proceeding with D, but then asks if he can join us for dinner tonight before oldest son leaves for college. I am taking s to college. made arrangements for other 2 kids. h will be out of town working. Yep, it is big and bigger pain for me but got to move on right. something will be better for me around the bend.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
It's simply no appreciation for all that I do. H doesn't care about me anymore and justs wants me to go away. I have a life. I GAL. I Lose that PMA . Have to remind myself. Hate that people feel sorry for me. Gossipmongers.
Don't feel like participating in idle chitchat
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I am sorry things are moving so quickly. Reread your DR book and try your best to focus on you and not what your H is doing. It will help you to grow as a person for yourself and for future relationships, with your S or someone else.
I understand how hard it is, if it were easy we wouldn't grow. You can only control you and you are allowing your H's actions to dictate your mood, your growth and your future. I know it is easy for me to say not being the one in your position at the moment. I have been through many, many BD's over the last 6 years. DB and DR have permanently changed things but that is because of the change in me, the insight I gained and the realizations it brought me.
There may be a time where things work out with your H, however, he has to see a new you in order for that to be possible. Right now he is seeing you trying to hang on and slow things down and that will not bring him back.
Hang in there. I know this is hard - I am already D'd once and I have been through it, I know it isn't easy but know we are all thinking about you and sending positive thoughts to you.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
thank you lth, I know h sees me as hanging on and trying to slow things down. I am ready to send a very matter of fact email about expenses. no emotion, no commentary. just business-like. haven't sent it yet, but getting it drafted. thank you for the positive thoughts. I have felt better today.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
how quickly my feelings change...I know my script too. one minute I feeling rather strong the next. I want to text h and say that I am so tired too.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
I am so not in a good place. I sent the text. just said I get tired too you know... all I wanted was simple recognition and appreciation for all that I do day in day out for our kids.
as part of D, h is willing to give me 1/2 of a sole and separate account. this was money in inheritance given to him by his mother when she passed. He is not legally obligated but has said he will. Mind reading- I think so I will agree to quick D I am seeing attorney today to discuss finances.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Willbwell, you probably will not get a recognition for your hard work from your H right now. He thinks that if he D’s you, he will regain his happiness and will not be confused any more. Why does he have an impression that you are stalling the D process? It is something he senses in you? You need to show him that you completely accept this. And if he makes kind gestures in hopes that the process will be easy and quick, take it. It is better than him still wanting a D, but trying to screw you out of money and benefits. He will realize pretty soon that the D will not magically make him happier.
Oh, just remembered my favorite phrase from one of the relationship books. When you H or W way they want a D, agree and say this: “I would prefer our M to work, but I agree with you that it not possible now”, or something like that. I didn’t have a chance to say it like this, but I agreed to the D and told H to send me the paper work. I haven’t heard the D word since then.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
