180 that was my first thought to on not attending the family reunion but I had five members of the in law's telling me to attend because I am family and she is not. And if H does bring OW with him they told me to stand my ground and don't show any fear cause I have more rights to be there then she does. I know its going to be a tough day if he does bring OW but I know I will have more support from all the members of the in laws then she will. And I know that all of my in laws will have to he nice to OW but they won't accept her into the family cause by law H and I are still legally married. And if we were D I'm still be part of the family cause I have been in The family for 13 years and they will still support me more then OW. Which I'm so greatful that my in laws will support me and accept me as still part of The family. They are not very happy about what H has done. But they have to be kind to OW for now. And I already had plans to hang around my sister in laws family that day so I will just ignore H and OW if they were to show up I'll just pretend they don't excess. And if H comes by and have a conversation with me I'll just treat him like a neighbor. In a way I don't think he will bring her and I don't know if he is showing up so I will just go and have fun cause there are some members of the family I only get to see once a year. I will let you know how that day goes. I will be fine and I will have fun that day.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Oh I forgot to mention that i did have a conversation with MIL about the family reunion and she told me that I have more rights to be there no matter if we were D or not D because I have been in the family for 13 years. And she told me to stand my ground and show no fear to OW. MIL told me that a long time ago my H step dad did The same thing that H is doing right and when the OW showed up she didn't back down from OW and one day H step dad left OW and came back to the family and he never left the family every again. So I still have a small chance that H will do the something. But until then I'm still trying to move on if he doesn't.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Oh one more thing yesterday when H came to pick up my boys he did apologized for the way he responded to the text message the other night. He was in training all day and he was really tired that night and he had another long day in training again before he picked up the boys. So we are back to being friendly again.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
It's good that H apologised for his behaviour My H can get irritable as well when he's not had much sleep! I do hope you enjoy yourself at the family reunion, I know if it was me I would avoid it. I've got a chance next month to be somewhere where H's new best friend is going to be, I've been persuaded to go but I don't know yet! After she's deleted me off her FB, I don't know how she's going to react towards me.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
I'm so sorry to hear that your H has a new friend. This is what my MIL told me that i should not let the OW be the one in charge of the situation. And I need to stand up for myself. So if H does bring OW to the reunion all I have to do is just ignore her and if she does say anything done back down tell her like it is. And don't be afraid to stand my ground cause she is no one that is important in my life. And if you go to your event just ignore your H new friend go and have fun with the other ppl there. And dont worry about OW.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
I've decided not to go, it will be very awkward for me. It's not that important that I go anyway. I've not told my son about H's new BFF and he's the type to go running up to her to say hello. How do you tell a 19 year old that his dad is BFF with a 20 year old? It's just crazy! We've got an event at the end of the month which she might go to, so I'm not looking to that At least there'll be a lot of other people there I know and as long as my son doesn't make a beeline for her and her mum then I'll be ok Anyway I'm hijacking your thread with my woes, how are you? What have you been up to?
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
180 oh my I didn't now how young your H's new friend. I really don't know how to answer that question. I'm really sorry for your new situation. Maybe if you keep your son occupied with other ppl or the events at your next gathering he my not see H new friend. I know next week at our family reunion my boys will be playing with their cousins so I won't worry about them. And I will be spendng my time with my sister in laws. And that is fine if you hijack my page I have learned much from being on this forum. Am starting to finally let my H go; I'm finally finding a small peace with in myself. Don't get me wrong I still miss him and I still would like for him to come home to our family. But I know its still a long way off if that will ever happen. But for right now I have to tell myself that he is not coming back to our family. Which is a sad way of thinking but it is helping me be more realax in my new life. I wish you all the best and I will be here for you when ever you need me.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
Am starting to finally let my H go; I'm finally finding a small peace with in myself. Don't get me wrong I still miss him and I still would like for him to come home to our family. But I know its still a long way off if that will ever happen. But for right now I have to tell myself that he is not coming back to our family. Which is a sad way of thinking but it is helping me be more realax in my new life.
K, this is exactly how I feel as well. It is so much easier to relax and keep a PMA now. Detaching maybe?? I've even caught myself referring to him as my XH over the last few days. Sometimes its just easier to do that than saying separated; fewer questions.
Both 50 S14 M 16 yrs (his 3rd; my 1st)
ILYBINILWY - 24 Dec 2012 H moved out - 27 Jun 2013 Legally separated - 6 Sep 2013 Closing the door and changing the locks
NQ I sometimes have done The something about saying XH but its depending who I'm talking to for example if its the utility company or any company that we both dealt with I would use the XH word but for other ppl I just tell them that we are separated at this time and we are still working on ourselves. Sometimes they story asking questions but sometimes they don't. But as the days passes is getting a bit easier to move on. I haven't called or text H lately since his melt down about me texting him that night. If I have to give him a message that doesn't have to do with the boys I have his mom tell him. Some how this way seems OK with him. Which I think is really wired but I'll keep doing it this way.
M:42 H:37 M:14yrs S:13; S:9 Found out PA:8/2012 2nd PA & still w/OW:4/2013 H asked for D:6/2013 H moved out: 8/2013 H & OW moved in together: 8/2013
K, thanks for the kind words I don't think my H's new friend is more than a friend, she's too young! He may be having a thing with her mum though, who knows? I always tell people that H left me, not that we've separated as it sounds as if it's as much my fault as his. They ask me why and I say I don't really know. The next statement is they say "oh he's going through a MLC is he?" lol. I do refer to him as my X sometimes, but I have to stop myself from saying this as well. Sometimes I may just call him J's dad! Well done K for keeping up with the PMA Speak soon, I'm off to bed now as it's nearly 1am here!
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
My H can get irritable as well when he's not had much sleep! I do hope you enjoy yourself at the family reunion, I know if it was me I would avoid it. I've got a chance next month to be somewhere where H's new best friend is going to be, I've been persuaded to go but I don't know yet! After she's deleted me off her FB, I don't know how she's going to react towards me.