Thanks for the birthday shout-outs newman, ruby and PS! Love you guys!
Had a great b-day on vaca w family and a couple of friends. Leaving tomorrow to drive back home... really don't want to return to reality at all. Much more fun to be away and not have to deal with my real life!
Only 2 weeks until kids start school so getting ready for that & getting ready for my new job will keep me busy enough to have some distractions.
Decided to text Sven on way home in hopes that maybe he would respond (sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't). From there we shall see...I'm guessing he might text me back and have some short conversations via texting but it is unlikely I will see him in person any time soon. Boo.
The good part is that I have more time to think about how to handle our next interactions (esp if it is late at night & drinking is involved).
Need to talk to H about visiting schedule so I can make plans freely to GAL with friends. Am going to do another group bike ride on Mon night. I really GAL my a$$ off biking & love it!!!
I may be 39 (again) but I feel so much younger...I guess it's all about your frame of mind! (Maybe Sven being 14+ years younger than me shouldn't be a problem at all...LOL!)
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
Happy belated bday GTO. Glad you had such a good day! :-)
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Got home safely last night. Vacation was so good for my soul!
Texted Sven yesterday and today. He works SO much that unfortunately weekdays are impossible to get together, I guess. We'll see.
Had a dentist apptment today--good news and bad news...bad news-had a cavity; good news- hot guy working the office. Practiced my flirting...no wedding ring, youngish, and now I have to see him twice more next week due to follow-up apptments.
Went on a group bike ride tonight-it was great, except turning the very last corner I clipped a post and bit the dust. Luckily I will probably just have one big bruise on my outer leg, but it was worth all the guy attention I got afterwards!!! LOL!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
First of all H was very depressed and lonely while boys & I were on vacation. (H is still not seeing OW...really not sure why).
He said he had a lot of time to think and he realized that there aren't a lot of people in the world who really care about him and 4 of them were on vaca (me & our 3 boys).
He reiterated how much he does care about me and that he wants to have a good R with me moving forward. (Co-parenting implied.)
But then he said "who knows what will happen moving forward." WTF? We are seeing a second mediator next week, so it seems that the direction is pretty clear to me!
When I told H that his grandmother sent me a b-day card and in it said that she was sorry to hear that things weren't going well and she hoped that we could all be happy.
He said he was upset that she knew and that "anything could happen moving forward." AGAIN, that statement! I really was sort of annoyed that he said that. Why is he trying to throw a small amount of confusion back in my face?
I am NOT confused. I am ready to move forward. I am NOT a default for him in case things w OW are not working out. And, I am sorry that things are not going the way he planned, but really I'm not.
But, I am done. Period. I am already fantasizing about my new happy life! arrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
youngest 2 are spending night w their dad. oldest hung out w friends most of the evening.
cute D'ed dad is too busy working to spend time w me.
H and I had conversation this morning at S11's gymnastics--he said how old was I (just had a bday) and I didn't look as old as I am.
I said thank you and that I recently got estimate of 12 years younger than I am... he thought it was from "another guy." H said "well, I've always told you that."
I said, "I know. I didn't say you hadn't said that to me." H was clearly irritated that I seemed pleased by getting that compliment from someone other than him...another guy. (I know that is mind-reading on my part but it was clear to me.)
I would appreciate feedback about H's comments from yesterday.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
youngest 2 are spending night w their dad. oldest hung out w friends most of the evening.
cute D'ed dad is too busy working to spend time w me.
H and I had conversation this morning at S11's gymnastics--he said how old was I (just had a bday) and I didn't look as old as I am.
I said thank you and that I recently got estimate of 12 years younger than I am... he thought it was from "another guy." H said "well, I've always told you that."
I said, "I know. I didn't say you hadn't said that to me." H was clearly irritated that I seemed pleased by getting that compliment from someone other than him...another guy. (I know that is mind-reading on my part but it was clear to me.)
I would appreciate feedback about H's comments from yesterday.
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
isnit strange how the moment we truly detach and let go they start wanting to get closer! i would say continue doing what you are doing, get on with your life and be happy, let him figure out what he wants to do all by himself. what i found is that when it comes to the OW the more we express our hurt and disapporoval of that relationship the more appealing and people like getting that which others say is no good for them, especially if they are going through MLC.
i am in the exact same situation as you, only thing is we dont have kids wish i had company and little ones to keep my mind off things! my H left me after a 7 year relationship for the OW, its been almost 2 years and during this time they have been on and off cause she was also married with kids! over this time i tried my very best to be there for him, to make him see how much i love him and that she is just a gold digger who is using him but nothing i said or did yielded any results. so a couple of weeks ago i decided i have had enough! if he wants to be with her then he can but i wont be the ex wife who is desperately in love because i figured he enjoyed that because it boosted his ego. i disconnected, stopped calling, texting and emailing and i am sure he is wondering whats going on because this is sooo unlike me. been speaking to a DB coach and she adviced to do a 180 and if you know how i have been over the past months you will know this 180 is huge for me....to be honest i am mainly doing it to get my sanity and self respect back because i have really disrespected myself by chasing after him and trying to get the marriage to work and to be honest since i cut off i get times when its very hard and i get so tempted to call or text but i stop myself...i know for certain that the point will come when he will have to reach out to me for financial reasons, joint properties...etc and at that point i wont be as available as he expects me to be or as i have been so far! the other reason is i want to be completely unavailableso he gets to spend all his time with OW because i know he will realise what i have been saying all along! one sentence i got from DB book that i really liked said something in the lines of by continuing to reason and asking for more of what they dont want means they continue to focus on the struggle with you and continue to want to get away from you and into the OW arms because i bet when you nag or bother them she is in the background highlighting that to him and making him see how clingy and annoying you are so by getting on with your life and focusing on you you give him the chance to focus on the loss! on his life without you and at times it makes them change their minds all by themselves!
i decided not to continue making a fool out of myself, disrespecting myself because in comparison to the OW i am a much better person, i would never come btw a married couple and contribute to destroying a family no matter what! thats just selfish and heartless and you should be proud of yourself that you are not like her! it also takes alot of courage to continue wanting to fight for your family despite what he did and the OW and you have done all you could and now it is time you made yourself happy and live life to the fullest from what you have said it seems he is starting to realise your value so keep up with this
wish i had company and little ones to keep my mind off things! my H left me after a 7 year relationship for the OW, its been almost 2 years and during this time they have been on and off cause she was also married with kids! over this time i tried my very best to be there for him, to make him see how much i love him and that she is just a gold digger who is using him but nothing i said or did yielded any results. so a couple of weeks ago i decided i have had enough! if he wants to be with her then he can but i wont be the ex wife who is desperately in love because i figured he enjoyed that because it boosted his ego. i disconnected, stopped calling, texting and emailing and i am sure he is wondering whats going on because this is sooo unlike me. been speaking to a DB coach and she adviced to do a 180 and if you know how i have been over the past months you will know this 180 is huge for me....to be honest i am mainly doing it to get my sanity and self respect back because i have really disrespected myself by chasing after him and trying to get the marriage to work and to be honest since i cut off i get times when its very hard and i get so tempted to call or text but i stop myself...i know for certain that the point will come when he will have to reach out to me for financial reasons, joint properties...etc and at that point i wont be as available as he expects me to be or as i have been so far! the other reason is i want to be completely unavailableso he gets to spend all his time with OW because i know he will realise what i have been saying all along! one sentence i got from DB book that i really liked said something in the lines of by continuing to reason and asking for more of what they dont want means they continue to focus on the struggle with you and continue to want to get away from you and into the OW arms because i bet when you nag or bother them she is in the background highlighting that to him and making him see how clingy and annoying you are so by getting on with your life and focusing on you you give him the chance to focus on the loss! on his life without you and at times it makes them change their minds all by themselves!