Quote: I fear though that she will continue with her ways that don't build trust in me. Like going out alone, and making new single male friends. I just don't believe someone who respects their M and Spouse does those things. And I know that she would not approve if the tables were turned. Part of me just wants to give her a taste of the crap she gives me. I hope I can fight those urges and she changes some of her ways as well.
My W is extremely jealous and was upset if any female made contact with me. However, she can do what she wants and i have to, as she always put it "deal with it".
We both have to fight the tit for tat urges. I don't want to do something that is going to set w off just for the sake of doing it. I don't want to set her off at all because I love and respect her.
Marriage is about submitting one's self for the good of both. My wife didn't agree because she said "I put more into this than I got out." So did I. But I wanted (and still want) a better US than me or her. The US is what carries you thru the really traumatic times in life. Her history is to run when it gets too tough. I tend to fight it out until the war is lost.
I'd let the guy friend die a natural death. Pray on it but if there is any doubt let it die.
Your wife is testing you. She has doubts and is seeing how you react. My wife tests me. I don't test her and won't. I think about it sometimes, but won't.
I'm sure you are the one withdrawing. Right now, you "got what you wanted". That is your wife came home. Now what? It isn't like it was before. It is different. How do you react? You need to think about it and to think about things men withdraw to "their caves".
At least you are seeing it. Don't withdraw too much because W will leave again. Don't smoother or w will leave again. It must be a fine line to walk.
The old "happy and confident" thing is all you can probably do. For me, I've been using exercise to get out the frustration. I talk to maybe 1 or 2 people about it now and of course pray, which helps the most.
Like I told you awhile ago. You are in uncharted waters for me to give you advice. Take what I say with a small grain of salt. If it makes sense, pray on it. If it doesn't throw it away.
I'm an engineer and one of the first things we were taught is "If it looks like a bad design, it probably is." Same goes with advice.
