If I could turn the clock back, I should have legally separated and moved out, or had her move out, so that we were living separately, and I should have continued to DB with 100% focus on me and 0% focus on her. Maybe she would come back, maybe she wouldn't, but if she did, it would be on mutual terms and according to my standards for re-engagement, and if I had pursued that path, that would have been much more painful in the short term, I would have been MUCH happier in the long term, either with her or with someone else.
This advice is priceless. I need to become this strong. I feel like my sitch is just gradually leading to a D because I continue to hold onto bits of good interactions as evidence of change toward R. Deep down, I know I need to let go before anything real can happen. We're separated, but I'm still clinging to W. I need to figure out how to move on yet still love unconditionally. I need my 180s and GAL activities to have no connection to what W will think. Is this really as complicated as it seems?
ETC
"Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
