Moving forward together from a mess

[cbtdad]

Thanks Magic! I'm taking one day at a time.
AS, we are certainly not on the same page and it showed up Saturday night.
We were outside talking, just having some drinks and relaxing. All of sudden she got up started walking inside and said, "lets have sex"
I was surprised, but wasnt really.
I go into bedroom and she is already undressing. I do the same. We hop into bed and I start caressing her body. My wife is probably a 9 out of ten and she turns heads whenever we got out. This was my first time caressing and naked with her "new breasts"
You would think I would have been turned on, but I was not. I had been turned for the past few months when she would change, when she lets me rub her leg, etc
But here I am with the both us in bed and ready to go and I couldn't "perform"
That had never ever happened in my life. She asked if I had to much to drink. I said, "maybe, I don't know. I'm sorry"
She got up and said she was taking a bath.
I felt so bad. Honestly, I think it was a combination of drinking, nerves, OM, etc
I am usually turned on by turning on. W clearly wasn't turned on and at that moment I thought about a text W sent OM that I saw weeks back which said, "it's sad that I can only get off thinking about you"
So of course I started thinking bad thoughts and it was over for there.
About an hour later I walked to bedroom and just said, "is ok if we discuss this tomorrow" before I could even finish she said "i don't want to talk about this right now"
I said, " I agree. Lets talk about it tomrorow"
Well, I tried to talk about it the next day, but she wasnt ready so I didn't push it.
I have not bought it up sense as I am seeing MC this afternoon individually and figured I would discuss this with him before I brought it up again.
Since Saturday night I don't get turned on looking at my wife like i was before that incident. It's like I'm afraid to approach now and not be able to "perform" again.
I am so embarrassed by all of this. Anyone who has any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks