The affair is not a deal breaker for me. By mentioning his changes...I just feel like sometimes on here it's OK that he had an affair because I didn't dress right or go out enough. I know nobody really feels that way. I was just feeling grumpy that day. smile
It's never okay. I think because we do the work here, we sometimes grow to understand how it can happen, where our own faults lie, etc. but we aren't excusing him.
The best way to help your H get over his confusion is to continue to work on you and become a better version of your old self. Be steady, don't backtrack or blow up!
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
