The lead up and anticipation is always going to be so much worse than the actual event, at least that is what I found every single time. It's always going to come down to your choice. You still have the power in all this. Russia is going to be the wake up call he sorely needs. This is going to be good for you to have this time without having him around all the time. You really can take this as a break to focus on you.
M38,H39 M:16Y BD:8/12 OWDB:11/12 S:11/12-5/13 "Temp" home:6/13 OW dropped:9/13 "I love you":12/13 H ring on:2/14 Depression back:5/15 "I'm done:" 7/15 H moved out: 3/16 H moved back: 12/16 Working on us: 3/17