You've been around the track a couple times now on 180/GAL/Act as If. One of two things are possible (1). You didn't really commit to it and never stopped your pursuit or (2). You did stop pursuit and it didn't work.
If its the first one, you can go back to square one with DB and really commit to it this time -- let her go, no pursuit.
If you feel you did a good job of it before but still find yourself here, time to do something different. I would work on boundaries:
You will not allow people to speak to you disrespectfully You will not tolerate threats You will not tolerate W agreeing to plans with you and then breaking them, etc etc
If she breaks your boundaries, you need to think about what you will do and have that set out in advance.
I would give her the "Things are going to change around here" talk and be prepared to move out or move her out the minute she disrespects you or an agreement you have made. Play hard ball.
Being nice and accommodating isn't working. The 12,546th nice thing you do for her won't bring her back, nor will the 34,567th nice thing you say. Do something different
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
