The tide is turning

[forlovessake]

I don't know that it would be a deal breaker, more I don't want people calling it something it's not..maybe that's something only I can decide?

H and I texted most of yesterday, just flirty fun stuff, and again this morning. Speaking of breaking rules...I texted him and asked "Am I being dumb here by saying the stuff I do? Does it even matter or mean anything, or is the end result going to be the same either way?"

He replied back: "That's not a very fair question at this point. I definitely like this new nicer you. I was 100% done..."

Me: "I know, I understand. But do you still feel that way now?"

Him: "Idk. That's not a fair question. Because everytime in the past when you were nice you ended up getting crazy and it just kept hurting more and more...so I said I'm not going to just put myself out there again unless I really felt it was different."

Me: "I really don't want to pressure you. I love talking to you and telling you how much you mean to me. But if you still feel 100% done or think you might enter in another relationship please just let me know. Thanks. Love you."

Him: "Idk, I just need time."

I get what he's saying, I do. He asked me to not respond to him in anger by yelling and calling names. He had every right to ask for those things and I should have granted them. However, it remains scary that he may just be stringing me along. It also remains frustrating that, while the way I expressed anger was very wrong, he fails to see any responsibility in his part of the cause of it (being out till 2AM almost every night, not helping with D at all, etc).