i sure hope you're rite. i do have mixed emotions. i guess the years and years of this being my home and "safe haven" -
i feel at home up there too- differently tho-
it's sure a mixed up bunch of junk - my dopey life has morphed into a wierd thing. too bad huh?
h is being nice - dinner out last two nites- makes me very suspicious. i know, can't even accept a nice gesture anymore - BUT - WHY SO NICE? one has to wonder. so me- always waiting for the other shoe to fall.
i don't accept anything as just face value anymore.
i know nothing is changed - idk- it iss tinky -
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I'm am emotionally led and as long as I am not emotionally met by him I will continue to be unhappy in my own home.
this is same with me- i feel bummed to even think of 'ACCEPTING" THIS CRAP LIFE - I'M WAITING, i'm holding my peace- but am i thinking honestly that if this is "all there is" i won't make it forever.
i ws thinking in bed last nite- he's a crap companion- stupid stinking e-mail in bed!!! wtf - what a loser he acts like.
doesn't even "get it" - doesn't care really- equally as bad.
so - like - i don't have anything that makes this r worth having- but i get to (supposedly- what??? clean, & be the housekeeper and cook? ) i dont' think so. oh well huh?
how the heck did "me" get sooooo lost in this mix? i guess ya just don't think about it all on a daily basis - for years and years and years and then ka bam- there you are- wondering where the heck YOU went??? i gotta find me-
she got lost somewhere. heck of a thing isn't it- they get all lost and screwed up and we end up lost too???
