I feel as if this trip is going to change him forever, and am afraid because I will never know what the changes are and what caused them. He won't share any of that with me. And the fact of RT being there, helping him discover a whole new world and way of life, is a big thorn in my side, almost too much to bear at times. I feel as if I already lost most of my H, the best of my H, and am living with a hollow shell. And now he will be gone forever.
Linda, it's the fear of the unknown. Time for you to sit on the discomfort sofa and sort through these feelings. Also it is part borrowing trouble as well. Trust us when we all say that the A will burn out eventually and the trip to Russia will do your M a world of good. If not immediately afterward, then it will in time after H returns from the trip. There are just too many negatives about the trip and RT that they will eventually pull down the R and burn out.
Be prepared for many bumps before the trip and after H returns home. Keep this in the back of your mind and remind yourself that it is not about you.
