Emotional Connection and Attraction

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BC39,

Accuray has written an amazing post and is 100% correct. I know you know deep in your heart if your W is fully committed or not. If she isn't, you have to take what you can from the above post and learn from it.

Despite our issues we're still best friends, she still "loves" me. She still contacts me numerous times throughout the day for mundane things, she still wants to do things together (see above about our weekend). How does someone have no issue with losing that? I know she's confused....I mean her major reasoning statement during our R talk was that she "wanted to crave someone". It almost sounds immature. You'd think she would have to understand that finding someone to crave wouldn't be difficult. Its all the qualities that she says I already have that are the difficult things to find.

Do not be fooled by this. I still called my H many, many times a day, texted and said I loved him, had frequent sex, went on vacations alone with him and talked about the future all while trying to convince myself this was what I wanted and really feel it instead of pretending. I too was "confused", for years. My H gave me many bombs but always came back w/in a few weeks w/o talking about it. I know his expectations were that things would get better and I would suddenly be the S he wanted but I had no reason to change.

As for wanting to crave someone, we all want that. Without reading the books, people think it is gone because they love you but aren't in love. Is it immature? Not really, it is just misguided thinking, a belief they can find it again with someone else and sustain it next time. It isn't reality but many, many people leave their M's in search of it.

Is she in or out? If she is in, you will feel it. If she is only partially in, you know it too and then you have to decide if that is good enough.

Is there anyone on here who was partially in for years and then decided to be 100% in and make the necessary changes just because? Without the LBS becoming the WAW? If so, let us know how you came to that point!