Things starting in right direction, NEED TIPS!

[cruiserrg]

Last night didn't go as plan, but I did ok with it. My W was supposed to be home around 7 to have dinner and watch the awards.

I worked on the house in the afternoon (finxing something she cut her foot on) and got finished around 7. 7:30 came and wondered where she was and called her cell. No answer so I left a message: "I honey its me, just wondering when you might be home. I'm hungry and want to know when I should start dinner. Call me."

Well sitting there I figure that if she didn't call I would start dinner soon anyway. At 8:15 I started dinner and texted her I was and would be ready by 8:30. Again no call. So I set the table and had a nice dinner with her plate of food and wine without her.

I was a bit disappointed, but not nearly as upset as I usually would be. When finished I covered her plate and wrote a note for her: "For my loving wife. Love your Baby R"

It was about 10:00 when I went to bed because I was tired and needed to sleep for work. I texted her a quick "goodnite baby luv - R" and went to sleep. She text me back right away and said she was sorry for being late and would be home soon. I replied thats ok just love me extra when you get home. she replied ok.

She came home about midnight. She snuggled up to me and said she was so sorry and thanks for making dinner. She said she is so stupid for not being with her loving husband and she is screwed up. I said you not stupid. She fell asleep laying on my chest (she hasn't done in a long time).

This morning she again appologized and and said it was stupid for her to do that. I asked if she had fun and she said yes. She told me she was at the bar again, and didn't get my message until it was too late. She felt really bad. She told me that she would spend tonight with me and give me undivided attention (she was supposed to go to a hotel to stay for training tues at 8 am). So she said she is going to get up early to go there so she can be with me.

I can tell she is very sincere about being sorry. I think her coming home to see a nice set table with her dinner and a glass of wine must have hit her hard. She even left me a note back on the table: "Reuben, Thank you so much for being such a [u]loving[/u] husband! Dinner you made was good...But it would've been better w/you. Love A"

It made me feel really good to get the note, and she has been lving to me this morning. I also felt good about not giving her a hard time about it, and I think that made her realize even more what she missed by not being with me.

This is a good place, and I think my approach of being as loving as I can, and also secure enough with my loving detachment, is really opening her eyes to the reality of her actions.

We have MC tonight and we'll see how that goes. I hope she opens up more in MC, so its not all me talking.

I also need to do better on some of my goals, I have hinted at being intamate after her hint yest. I need to not do that. My other goals are going well, and I think tonight really showed me the power of them.

Goals:

1). DO NOT ASK OR EVEN INSINUATE WANTING INTIMACY!

2). DO NOT LET HER KNOW WHEN YOU ARE DISCOURAGED!

3). NO R TALKS UNLESS ANISSA BRINGS IT UP!

4). DO NOT ASK FOR STATUS CHECK, LOOK FOR POSITIVE BABY STEPS AND AFFIRM THEM WITH HER.

5). CREATE AN ENVIROMENT OF TRUST. DON'T READ INTO THINGS AND TRUST HER AS IF WE HAD A STABLE M.

6). DON'T LET MY FEAR OF HER BEING SOMEONE I MY NOT WANT TO BE WITH CLOUD MY SEEING HER WORKING ON OUR M. DO THIS BY FOCUSING ON THE THINGS SHE DOES THAT MAKE ME FEEL LOVED BY HER.