wife hardends heart-3

[planet]

I was locked out so here is the new one

previous topics
wife hardends heart-2
wife hardends heart

[planet]

Did you tell OM he wasn't allowed to be in your house?

(I'm on moderation still, so I'll ask my next question):

If "yes", you did tell him that he was not allowed at your house, then why did he spend the evening at your house? You set a boundary and didn't enforce it.

I did tell him before. I did tell W.
How to enforce this when W just ignores my boundaries. There's no consequences she will face because I don't have leverage.

W don't seem to see her friendship with OM is a problem. I did signed the D she wanted.

[MrBond]

So who pays for the house, household items, nanny, etc.?

Does your W work?

[planet]

I used to used up my monthly pay for household bills. After the bomb, i just pay for mortgage and my children's school fees.

W pays for everything else which is a huge amount too. She works and her monthly income is roughly 2.5 to 3 times mine. She can take care of herself and the kids without me.


She called my best friend the other day. She wanted to help us out on our start-up but did not mentioned anything to me. She asked my friend why was i moody at home. I kept my distance and did not initiate any talks with W unless about the kids and she translated it differently. She's the one who looks unhappy all the time and she's gaining weight. Can't seem to shake off the gain with all the exercises and diets she's undergoing.

[MrBond]

So you're paying for a mortgage on a home that's not yours?

What does your W do for a living? What do you do?

[planet]

I'm sharing the load with W. She pays for everything else too.

she's in sales. makes good with what she does.

I'm an engineer. Make a good living, relatively higher than most engineers make. Professional pay.

[AnotherNeedsHelp]

You do have leverage whether you realise it or not. You've agreed to share the cost of the mortgage and the school fees. If she agreed the OM could not enter what is still your house (because you're still paying for it) then stop paying for it! If W wants to move someone else in then you can use the money you'll save to get your own place.

[PatientMan]

I did tell him before.

So then why didn't you enforce that boundary with him?

-PM

[MrBond]

Why doesn't she take over the mortgage since she's living in the house? Maybe in your case, the best thing to be would be to separate if you can afford it. You pretty much gave her everything, so you don't have any leverage.

[planet]

Separation? You mean move out?
I definitely could afford that. I would then just pay her child support and arrange a schedule to spend time with my kids.

But is moving out the best decision?