An onion, dance lessons and a Harley III

[subguy]

subguy, I have been a person who always acted out of emotion, lashing out, moving, changing jobs, usually because someone else was not doing what I thought they should. If I just changed one more thing, then I would be happy.

I let my marriage wither away for the same reasons.

I was the unhappy person and I was the common denominator in all those situations. Hmmmm

Throughout my sitch I have had those feelings of being unsettled, needing to change something. The changes included, selling the house, moving away either within AZ or going back to my home state :0, going back to school, changing career tracks, and filing for divorce. As I've learned more about me, I realize that this is not ME coming up with these ideas, it's fear. Fear of letting my life unfold in front of me, fear of not having control, fear of facing my demons, fear of feeling disrespected.

With all of these ideas of change, people along the way, including my IC have told me to wait, if it's right, it will be right, just be calm, you're not ready yet, sit.

So I have, and they were right. I like where and I am and who I am right now. I have joy in my life. Like you, my life before was comfortable but joyless. I've learned how to be happy, how to honor myself, how to have really great Rs. Like is attracted to like. People who "get" the new, fearless, awake, aware, joyful subguy will be attracted to you and you will be amazed at how much richer your life can be.

You've had such growth through this process subguy, I'm happy for you.

Oh yes... unhappiness in the guise of if only I had ______. I can relate, now a days I am more at peace with who and where i am. Changing me is about bettering me not changing to try and fit into a model I think my wife will like.

I am with you both on this. I am more and more aware of how much this journey is about me and my growth. It has nothing to do with H anymore. Just like he blamed (s) me for his actions past and present, I did a fair amount of my own projection and displaced hurt with him as well. I was a person I did not like and this is what I needed to begin reevaluating myself and how I treat the people I love.

Awesome!!! The man who ends up in your life is gonna be lucky.

Nice to see you finding yourself Subguy. I can relate with the self discovery bit. I just cant believe it took something so dramatic to get me to reflect on who I was and want to be.

I was also questioning joining the dating game again but then it will make the road a bit rougher if she chooses to come back.

The pain of being rejected is a tough one. Just remember She chose to leave you and you should have great pride in knowing you did everything in your power to make this work.

Continue to move forward with you head held high. Good things will happen!

Maritimer, dating is a tough nut to crack, like bug said when we are ready we will know. I'm just waiting for that time then I'll dive into that shark tank and see what Hammerhead I land hahahahaha

I agree with you Busting . This has become a journey about me, more than a relationship with my H What we want and what we need are two totally different things. While I want to be with H I have come to the realization that A) he may not want the same and B) it may not be what I need at this point.

My decision to start dating has come out a hard look at myself and my current relationship with H. Time to let him stand a little more on his own And me too.

Ruby, your pretty friggin neat... ran a half with a jacked up toe. If you told me you drove a 4 wheel drive truck and toted a gun... I'd sell everything and move just for a shot at ya lol. Keep being your awesome self and a little red neck attitude is awesome