Agree with Adinva 100%, MC isn't going to help you unless your W is motivated to make your marriage better.

For your anniversary, I would ask her how she would like to celebrate it and go with that. I definitely wouldn't try to surprise her with a weekend away or anything. For her birthday, I would keep it low key, no grand gestures on your part.

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015