Marriage counseling is detrimental when one of you does not want to fix the marriage. I have not seen anyone who was "gotten" to go to marriage counseling and they saw the light and changed their ways. It doesn't work that way. She has to really want to be there to work hard and do what it takes to fix the marriage with you. Unless you're both at that point, it does either nothing or more harm than good. Counseling for YOU, by yourself, is not a bad idea at all.
These are my opinions, based on my experience "getting" my husband to try marriage counseling, and two years of reading sitches here almost every day. You've got to follow the rules and stop pursuing her, stop making excuses for why you just can't help yourself from pushing her away with your pursuing behavior, and do all your 180s and repair all your shortcomings - simply because it's an opportunity to be a better person - not because it will bring her back. If you do all that and get lucky, she may recommit to the marriage and decide to work on it with you, and she may not. There is actually nothing you can do to make her do that. There is plenty you can do to ensure she doesn't.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
