Things starting in right direction, NEED TIPS!

[cruiserrg]

It was another day of ups and downs yesterday. I came home from C with renewed strength to work on my M. I had some luch and took a nap (I was really tired emotionally and physically).

My W came home after her C appt. She came in and leaned against me in bed and said hi. She then made soup and grilled cheese. She also talked about going out tonight again. I asked when she would be home, and again I get the "I don't know, and I may stay over with a friend". My fears got the best of me again and we had some more R talk. (I am failing at my goal).

During eating she said "Thanks for making me feel so guilty". After diner though was good. She explained it was hard when we always talk about it. I told her it really came out of my fears. I said I have an idea, but don't want it to sound like I am trying to fix it. I said if you try to do thing more loving and attentive to me, my fears will be reduced and I won't talk about the R. I said I will try my best to not bring it up, and if I do, hug me and say you just don't want to talk about it right now.

She liked the idea and thought it would work good. She then left for her friends and gave me a hug and kiss.

I went to a prayer group and had a great time seeing old friends from my Catholic initiation. It was a fun time. When I got home I prayed my rosary again, and then went to bed. I did send a quick txt message to my W. "Thanks for cooking dinner and spending time w/me See you tonite goodnite baby luv r".

She came home earlier than last night and even kissed me in bed and when had a nice sleep, she even let me hold her. I asked if she had fun and acted "as if" our R was stable.

This morning has gone well and she even asked if I wanted to go out for pizza with her and a friend. I agreed. We kissed a few time when I went to the gym and came back. She even made me some breakfast, and I thanked her and gave her a hug. She said its no big deal, and I said it is to me.

Things are going good, if I stick to my goals. I have to put them up somewhere so I can read them every day. The DBing I guess never really ends.

Goals:
1). DO NOT ASK OR EVEN INSINUATE WANTING INTIMACY!

2). DO NOT LET HER KNOW WHEN YOU ARE DISCOURAGED!

3). NO R TALKS UNLESS ANISSA BRINGS IT UP!

4). DO NOT ASK FOR STATUS CHECK, LOOK FOR POSITIVE BABY STEPS AND AFFIRM THEM WITH HER.