Thanks SM34 and Sandi for the commetting. Okay, so my wife use to complain about me not helping around the house and taking our daughter to our events. So know I am showing her that I can be responsible and help with the chores - so that is one change she has mentioned to me on several occassions that she notices. In the beginning she would ask me why I am helping when I never did before. She used that line on me many times in the beginning and some now too.
As far as distancing, that is tough. It was a complaint of her that I never put family first, that I neglected the family for school and work. So whenever there is an opportunity to go do a family event such as a BBQ at her brother's house, being invited to go swimming with them, etc I am sure to attend those events. When I am home and not spending time with my daughter - it's tough. Sometimes we will be outside watering the grass together and working on the garden together - I know she enjoys that. But when we are inside, it's tough because she gets annoyed if I am in the same room as her, if she is trying to text her friends on the phone, etc. So I try to give her space while somehow making it know that I am available to her. This morning she told me that she recognizes the changes in me but that she is not there. That she still does not trust me and can't even imagine being emotional with me. She told me that I am not giving her the space she needs. Apart of me senses that she is getting annoyed because she has to being sneaky in other to text or talk to OM. So I want to give her the space she wants while at the same time showing her that I am available if she needs me.
She has been slowing doing stuff like poking at me when she gets up in the morning and kidding around but this seems to be on her terms and not mine as she is not always in the mood or gives the impression she wants to be left alone. This past weekend I got her some pajamas as a gift and wrote he a note telling her that I enjoy pampering and taking care of her. She told me she really appreciated that and misses the cards I use to write her. This past month she has been in a lot of back pain so she would wake me up in the middle of the night (like 1 am ) to go by aspern, a heatpack, etc. Several times the last month I had to leave work early so that I can take care of her because she was in so much pain - so know she was really appreciative of that but absent of such events I find it hard to show her that I want to be there for her without invading her space or pursuing.
