So Drained

[Accuray]

Yep, sometimes it's you and sometimes it ain't. The other thing I've learned is that all cheating requires is opportunity -- that's it. Dissatisfaction makes it more likely, but only opportunity is required.

Every marriage has challenges, and everyone has flaws. Dealing with and negotiating these shortcomings IS marriage.

One challenge for the LBS is that they often feel horribly guilty about their very human shortcomings, and then convince themselves that if they 180 them all it will fix everything.

If your spouse cheated only based on opportunity, or your spouse is simply unhappy because of things going on in their own head, then you can run yourself ragged and get increasingly frustrated with them for not responding to all your effort.

Unfortunately, your effort doesn't matter to them at all because it was never about you -- it's about them.

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This does NOT apply to every case, or even to most of them. Most of us who find ourselves here truly did engage in non-marriage friendly behaviors that we really DO have to remedy. Like anything however, it's a grey area, and often our WAS' problems have more to do with them than with us.