Things starting in right direction, NEED TIPS!

[marc_d]

Wow,
Well, First of all, do I think you messed up? Yeah, but it could have been worse and its great you held back all the other anger you had and saved it for the car ride instead of yelling at her.

You have to decide what you want for yourself, but I know how hard it can be. My 8 yr anniv. is coming up in just over 2 weeks and Im sure there will be no plans, and we have no plans for V day either. Its very upsetting yes, and I feel like quitting too and finding someone else, but I then think of the positives I have seen, no matter how small, and I think of all the great times we have shared together and how we know so much about eachother and how long it would take to be this close with someone else again and it gives me the strength to pick myself up and go.

The only thing I can say is you must find a way to stop some of your thoughts around her. You need to express your emotions, and you should be able to talk to her about these things, but I have also learned from experience is that our relationships are not strong enough for these talks yet.

We have to limit the amount of emotional pressure we are placing on them. I know you think, why should we keep bending over backwards for them when we get nothing in return?! Well, we have to have faith that in the end, we will get what we put in and much more. I know its a burden, and I know you are a religous man from seeing you in the Rosary forum so I will incorporate that.

We must think of this as a Cross that the Lord is asking us to carry. It is a heavy burden, and it feels like slow torture, but what is life without hope that things will be better? Remember how good you felt when she showed you positives? I can see it in your words how good it made you feel. Im not doubting your feelings, but I think the built up anger has caused you to feel this way and I hope you will find the strength to continue to fight for your marriage and keep learning new ways to handle new pressures. Best of luck to you and may God watch over you.