I tried to make changes to accommodate for that at the time but it was "too little too late" according to her.
This is what my H said as well when I tried to change. I didn't know what our issues were as he never told me, but I worked on the issues that I thought they were.
I think you're right when you said you should be working on not pursuing her. Just let her go and do her own thing and tell her to have a nice time. If she arranges to do anything with you, then have a back up plan in case she changes her mind again. I know it's frustrating at the mo frown Don't arrange anything with her, let her make all the arrangements. What's that saying again? Believe half of what she says and none of what she does or something like that.
I would also reread Sandi's rules and try to apply them to your sitch.
Hope things get better for you smile

H47 me48
T22 M21
S20 - Got high functioning autism
3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her
11/2000 H moves back home
2/4/13 H moves out
H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!