DB seemingly backfired w/ my H???

[Mimi00]

Well, it's the middle of the day. Haven't heard from H, so I'm going to give up on continuing to reach out for his help with this apartment sitch. Whatever will be, will be.

I know I'm not supposed to snoop, but I was curious to who H has contacted in the days after he said yes to my asking for help w/ the apartment. I saw he called his female co-worker/friend's step-dad.

I believe the friends step-dad is guiding H on what to do with me. Which is annoying, this man doesn't know me, or my heart. If I am correct, I think whatever he's been feeding H, probably isn't the best info.....as he's remarried himself.


***Background on female coworker: H doesn't like to call her a friend, but I've seen her call my H her "bestfriend" on her FB page (H's FB is blocked to not allow any one to comment freely on his page, and no mentions/tags can be posted w/o his permission) She worked at his old job where we used to live. He trained her for the position they worked. She moved to "wonderland" with her boyfriend last year.

I didn't know she moved, I'd only met her once, didn't know they were so close. When I suggested H begin traveling for his job, I assume he told her my suggestion and she suggested he come to "wonderland" and got him the seasonal job there b/c the facility they work at is high-tech and H said it would be a good experience as they have the best of the best there (he never mentioned to me that she was already there, and helped him get the position, until after plans were set for it, then he claimed he told me but I probably wasn't listening...I think I would remember if you told me a female coworker from your old job helped you to get this new job. but OK.) So H and female-coworker are in "wonderland" working side by side on a new project that may take H to very high levels. H is close to her family (boyfriend, mom, step-dad and bio-dad). Obviously her mom remarried....I noticed before H came to visit in July and while he was here, he was talking to her step-dad very often, sometimes for over an hour.***


After moving, I think I will go dark on him and really every one in my life right now. I know that sounds bad. I still plan to GAL, make new friends and go to meetup groups after I move, but I want to be done with the old and embrace everything new.


This morning when I was on FB, I saw a post that was shared from a man who recently got divorced. He listed his lessons learned and implored married men/women to fix things now before it's too late, as these lessons came too late for him. It was really good.

I thought of sending it to H, prefacing it by saying I wish we had learned these things in our marriage (a lot of the things listed were problems I know H had and couldn't figure out), also that I wish he could come up with an alternative solution where he can continue to take whatever time/space he needs to figure things out on his own w/o dissolving our relationship, but hopefully he can learn from this list these apply those things in his next relationship.....and wish him well.