Lost, confused and trying to make a stand

[brobafet]

Dropped off the kids on sunday. God how it kills me to leave them and know that I cannot control a thing when they are away from me. stbx was still in pj's and laying on the couch when we walked in...at 11am.

Overall had a better weekend. Up and down but not too up and not too down.

X and I dont really communicate at all. It sorta kills me. Someone who I would tell everything to now gives a rats a about me. I just wish I could have someone to tell things to and have them actually care and comfort me.