I've slooooowly learned that snooping doesn't help, and only hurts more. :-( They really need that space/time, much as it hurts to give it. It's often said around here (and from DB/DR books), that this time is a gift. It doesn't seem like it, but if we didn't have it, we'd just keep doing the same things that don't work (going down cheeseless tunnels, as MWD says).
Stay the course, and be consistent in the DBing. I looked through your previous post and I think you were getting DB? It's good, but I think The Divorce Remedy is much better written and organized. I would definitively read it, too if you can. Looks like you got the most important step going, by pulling back, detaching - doing that 180, since trying to initiate too much wasn't working.
