I have no idea what I'm doing

[RealityTrip]

I had a great GAL weekend at the lake with friends!! The W kept up the private messaging. She is using affectionate names, baby, sweetie, etc. She has said she misses me, she loves me, and more.

I needed to get Dog1 from her but the AP said no... you can't be alone with RealityTrip. It's my car and I'm going with you. (W doesn't have car... we used one as a family) I said no to seeing AP. That is a permanent boundary for me. So a friend of mine met them and picked up my dog for me. W was crying and sent me private messages that she had wanted to see me.

So... it's really more of the same. I'm observing. It's curious. She's been there just over 3 weeks. Did the jump in the deep end of the pool and my initiation of divorce proceedings really shock her awake? or is my W addicted to the process and feeling of the affair itself?... not the person? Is her pull to the chemical high reward for sneaking around what has caused the sudden 180 between her affections for the AP and now me?

I'm really trying to stay as emotionally detached and observant as I can, and still be supportive as a friend to her so I am not reciprocating the level of affection she is sending me.

I did check my online health insurance benefits and she did not use our insurance for the couples counseling session that AP took her to...so one must assume they paid out of pocket. That is a relief. I don't know how I would have really handled that.

She messaged me this morning. "Good morning sunshine!..." She told me she is going to be in another city for a few days away from AP and will call me. We'll see. I'm curious to hear her when she does not have AP listening to her every word to me.

School sent me my registration confirmation! Classes start Sept 4th. I still have to do some things to my laptop and I'm still waiting on the finacial aid office to confirm that I'm paid... but I'm on it!

So mucho, mucho work to do in the office it's going to be a big week! But I'm happy with Dog1 & Dog2 at home together again... at least for a while.

Today after work I'm going to take a long walk with Dog1 and get some exercise. I'm looking forward to that... then Vietnamese Pho for dinner!