I agree with you Busting . This has become a journey about me, more than a relationship with my H What we want and what we need are two totally different things. While I want to be with H I have come to the realization that A) he may not want the same and B) it may not be what I need at this point.
My decision to start dating has come out a hard look at myself and my current relationship with H. Time to let him stand a little more on his own And me too.