I'm not up-to-date on your whole situation, but if your H is spending money on the OW, then this should be subtracted first from any division of $$ from a D. I live in a no-fault state that divides everything 50/50, but if one spouse spends a lot of $$ just prior to D, then this is taken into account. So you should keep track of any money spent on the OW and this should be subtracted from his half.
It doesn't heal any emotion wounds or make up for what he's done, but it is fair.
