I can't handle this pain. My wife just left to pickup our daughter who was playing with another classmate and I can't stop crying and screaming. why is this happening to me? I can't deal with this. I don't think I can muster the strength to endure. I am weak. I've lost. I'm a loser. I was trying so hard and while these changes are for me and me alone - it hurts so badly to to realize that my efforts make no difference. I don't have the will to live. I just want to die. I am currently a student at Harvard and I am the stupidest person alive. God, have mercy on me. I am so sorry for my sins. I screwed up my life yet again. You blessed me and restored my marriage and I had to ruin it. I am a fool. I am so sorry. Forgiveness isn't good enough.
Ahh.....Scream...throw up some more....okay I will be okay but had to vent.
