I pray you will be here soon, I hope you still can follow my sitch because you always give me positive support and it really helps.
JJ, thanks for the link that was really helpful.
Tonight my W is comming over for dinner after her C session. I told her I would cook her dinner. This is the 2nd of our 3 dates this week.
I find today I am nervous and even a bit angery. Its really good to be where I am and feel like we are just starting to go in the right direction and that feels great, but my W still doesn't live here and that hurts.
Its kinda like we have to learn to be comfortable around each other again, but I want to make sure we don't end up doing "more of the same" and end up where we were. I fear that so much. It also bothers me that when we are together she spends only about 2 hours with me and then says she tired and wants to go home (where she is staying with a male friend).
It cuts deep when she says that. I also wish she would spend more time with me when she does. I mean she says she is tired around 6:30-7:00 at night. I know I don't sleep through the night, but can make it 'til at least 9:00am. Its so frustrating, but maybe she is just drained from the emotions of being with me.
One other thing I noticed, when she called yesterday to get insurance info for her meds, she asked how I was really doing. I think it came from a discussion in MC about how we tell if the other is depressed and needs our care. I told her I was good, but it hurt to have her leave the night before. She said she understood and I believe she agreed. I think it was a positive sign, but I don't want to unload everything I am feeling. I need to be cautious with this.
Well any advice in dealing with this junk would be helpful from those who have been there. I need some support and tips on becoming comfortable around my W again. And should I even talk with her about it? I think us talking through some thing like this helps, but I am affraid of a backslide.
Help!?!
God Bless You,
Reuben
Cautiously hopeful and keeping the Momentum
