Snodderly is so right - the new happiness we achieve is different whether or not we restore our former marriage.
I have two friends who restored their marriages, and they say the same thing - the age of innocence is gone. What is there instead is different. Certainly I take less for granted, realise the need to give and take more. The down side is that I find it very hard to believe that people will not 'turn' against me suddenly. I don't let it show but a sharp remark will upset me more than it would have done.
I do not let this show because a bit of me knows that it was just that - a sharp remark. But the emotional resilience is gone, and a kind of endurance, and greater tolerance has replaced it.
