HI, SP, GOod for you controlling your own destiny/emotions today. I do think that was rough of your W to bring OM"s mom to your business-very insensitive of her.
Regarding your date/ dating in general...I think each of us has to decide for ourselves when we are ready and what we are ready for. I think it was GREAT you went on this date and kept it very casual.
And, why not go on date w another interested woman you are texting??? Dating/Receiving positive attention from the opposite sex is a real ego-booster!
And, you are absolutely right..you and I are in VERY similar places. I will be interested in hearing how you proceed forward. I think you have the right idea...me-not so sure! Time will tell!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
The anger management discussion on this thread are interesting, as that's my biggest issue. My IC seems to really want to dig thru my childhood, but I don't think there's any great breakthrough to be had there. The nature VS nurture debate isn't going to be resolved based on my case, but my dad has a quick temper, and his dad was an alcoholic, and probably physically abusive. I'm more interested in behavor modification and delaying the anger reaction and getting it under control, proportionate and appropriate to the situation. Like quitting smoking, or losing weight and keeping it off, I realize that his is going to have to be a long-term, permanent effort, not a short term fix.
Deep seated anger issues have a root cause. It is like a smoldering fire just waiting to erupt. That is what allows our anger to swell from what should be a "3" on the anger scale to a "7". Real quick too.
Without getting to the cause, we are all just spinning our wheels.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
Too freudian for me. The root cause is I'm wired that way, or I learned it, because I act just like my dad. No hidden trauma in my youth. It will take constant, vigilant effort to catch those explosive overreactions. You're right about how quick they happen. Don't know if you also have depression, but I find that the old addage that bad thoughts attract other bad thoughts to be true. Breaking that cycle is important. I've ruined perfectly good moods just by letting one nagging thought start a whole chain until I'm down.
I'm finding mindfulness (meditation) to be more useful than therapy or medication, but I'm pursuing several avenues.
Good thoughts, Mile High. I too find mindfulness to be extremely helpful and has changed my life in ways I could never have imagined and so has therapy.
Doing what works is the key and that may look different for different people.
It all takes conscious action.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Today, I get my daughter back for my week....GAL and taking my angel to the state fair! Tomorrow, going to a concert with friends and taking a date!....Actually got a full night sleep last night, for the first time in a long time. Life seems okay, today. There is noooo fricken way I am riding any rollercoasters at the fair, though. I am not willing to take any chances
I went to a concert with 6 of my close friends. I decided to take cute D-mom as a date....a casual date. We get in, get seated and guess who just happens to be sitting about 5 rows in front of us? yep, WIFE and OM!.....What a way to put a damper on an otherwise nice evening. What are the chances? I made the best of it, but I am sure it made everyone else feel a little uncomfortable. Wife even waited after the concert, at the bottom of the stands, to speak with some of our friends. I decided that I could A) walk up and strangle the life out of OM....or B) walk right by like they didn't even exist....I chose B!
