Ruby, GTO, Bright...thank you for your kind words and continued support. I know I have not been posting but I have been reading along all summer and I will get back. You are all amazing.

Cadet, I agree he was probably just telling them what they wanted to hear. Although I think they would have 'rather' heard that it is meaningful. At least there would be a 'reason' for it all..you know what I mean? For me of course that would have been a lot more painful if he HAD said that to them. To them they think he is loco for it all when he says these things. To them they think, why be with a woman like that then in the first place?

NLW, I have been reading up on you and you seem to handling the craziness pretty well. I am impressed with your continued calm and rationale. He did not respond except with 'ok'. He did say when he comes back he will respect my boundaries. It seems like he 'wants' boundaries. He doesnt fight it or question it. I dont know what that that means in his head. He didnt seem to appreciate the open door policy, and now he doesnt seem to mind a more scheduled policy. I dont know. He doesnt seem to be able to handle parenting very well.

I do firmly believe that H will still have his toughest days ahead of him. I do believe that he is more ashamed of himself than his affair...I do believe that he is too afraid to rip off the band aid still. I am convinced that he is being manipulated, unknowingly, and that he has convinced himself that he is in control.

I spoke to my dad today and he also said to take my decision making slow. Nothing out of emotion or hurt. I know I am still very upset by H not coming to D6 birthday and the guilt that S8 feels because he is happy H IS coming to his bday next week. If I were left to my old own devices I would have told H to f off forever. Slow and steady is what I need to be.

I really do believe that the best I can do for my M, H and my kids is to continue moving forward while placing these new boundaries on H when he is in town. I will see how it works out for us all. I have given H reassurance about my belief in him (and I do believe in him) yet realise that it is not my time to be with him.

Big hugs to you all. You know I love you xxx

TPS
Me: 44 H: 42
M14 T17
S10 D7
10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month
21/04/12 H is 'DONE'
04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010)
July '14 H ends affair
May '15 H moves back home