The ups and downs of DBing

[Wendylon]

I have been feeling a bit more detached when it comes to H. He hasn't shaved in days and I haven't said a thing. That's definitely a 180 on my part. I'm usually 'on his case'.

Earlier this week H worked 35 hours straight and didn't come back overnight. He was doing some IT work to do with a company changing their internet provider. I still managed to have a nice night without waking up every hour to see if he was back. Earlier in the evening, I hadn't harassed him with texts or calls to find out what was happening either. I kept thinking that it gave me nice one on one time with D16. S14 was away with Social Services for four nights so it was really peaceful just chilling out with D16. I don't think the two of us have ever had the house to ourselves. (S18 is still in Canada and won't be back until September.)

I got annoyed today as H spent the afternoon out and came back smelling of alcohol. I managed not to say anything though. I had a little rant about the tenant who moved out this morning leaving the flat a tip. I was hiding my irritation at H behind my other irritation. I also had a rant about the other tenant who is a hoarder. I suspect that H knows me well enough to know that I was pissed off with him but he won't know for sure...

He's signed the property transfer documents so it shouldn't be long before his late mother's flat and one above hers are properly in my name. Whilst it is a big responsibility and I've never been a landlord before, at least I'm more in control and I'm sure I'll eventually get more rental money than H was getting. His income can go to paying off his debts and his living expenses, and in due course to paying for family treats. At least that's the plan.

I went to see a specialist this week re my morning anxiety. He's put me on a drug I'd never heard of before (Mirtazapine/Remeron). I'm hoping it will help. I've only been on it 3 days so hard to say anything apart from fact that I'm really sleepy. I read that lots of people put on tons of weight. I'm not keen on that but I haven't noticed increased appetite so far.