At least the smoking is an opportunity to bond with W! How about you only smoke when you're with her then?
You could invite your W to join you and S12. Maybe the two of you should do something a few times that S12 enjoys and then invite W to come along so you can 'show off' in terms of the good times that you and S12 have together.
It sounds as if you know deep down yourself that you need to avoid R talks and GAL. It really doesn't sound as if your W is ready for a date so I wouldn't go there. Asking her on a date could hurt. Do you remember how off-putting it is when someone you're not feeling that attracted to makes it really clear they want to go out with you? Do you remember how appealing it is when you're not sure whether or not someone is into you--even if you're not 100% sure you're really into them?
Are you at all mysterious? You want her to start thinking that you're having a great life without her and that she may be losing you. I get the sense that she is pretty secure about you being there and that she knows that you want more out of your R. That knowledge gives her all the power and she has no reason to change the status quo.
Hope you chose a good DVD to watch!
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
