In regards to the time I spend just me and W. In this time do we stay away from any issues that might crop up? No doubt they need to be addressed, but when?
I don't doubt we will be more successful in the dance/game if issues are kept out of it so when do we tackle them? Set time aside not related to the dating time or just make a note and leave it until later or at MC?
I would definitely segregate "rekindling time" with "issue-sorting-out" time. Dates are dates. Time with kids is time with kids. Managing interpersonal relationship issues with a difficult history should be totally separate.
I'm not saying to absolutely avoid topics that may be brought up to the point where things become obviously uncomfortable, or to avoid those topics if it IS brought up and the talk is relatively light and amicable, so use your best judgement, but also the segregation guidelines. So like DB'ing, play it by ear, but with that general strategy in place.
IMHO,
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I would suggest putting it aside to ask MC to assist in how to find a solution to the issue. Isn't that what you were seeking when you chose the C?
I think the two of you need to spend time without the kids, but not for the purpose of hashing out your problems. Try to have the mindset of beginning a new relationship when you have these first few times together. It should be with a light & fun attitude. If she mentions something that has been an issue, just say something like, "Let's be sure to bring this up at the next MC session and see how to resolve it. Let's just enjoy spending time together right now.". Of course, say it in your own words.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
