You're post is really helpful bc it honestly reminded me of a bunch of techniques that I need to get back to using from DB and DR. Specifically, acting as if what she does isn't affecting me. I hate the idea of just taking what she dishes because it obviously goes against everything I want to do but I know from experience it works and if anything it makes for pleasant interactions. And if I'm able to build off those interactions then we can start piecing things.
I 100% believe that part of this is her trying to get back some of those younger years that we spent together rather then seeing what else is out there. For me that was never an issue bc I was always happy where we were.
When she came home last fall we didn't talk about her affair either beyond the fact that it was over. She was uncomfortable talking about what she did wrong and I honestly didn't want to rehash everything that happened.
My ultimate hope is that this is just a phase and that just as quickly as things turned south that they can hopefully turn around just as quick. I also realize that is a little bit of a pipe dream given what's happened in the last 18 months so I try to go with no expectations, knowing having those only sets mess up for heartache.
M: 29 W: 29 T: 12 years M: 4 years Discovered OM: 02/10/12 ILYBNILWY: 03/01/12 W Moves Out: 05/04/12 Reconciliation Starts: 09/06/12 In-house Separation (Again): 03/09/13
