Yes, it is very dysfunctional. And the sooner you can get away from it and H, the better. I can tell you that the more you snoop, the more of that kind of "cr*p" you'll find. As you surmised, he is building his case against you and building his other life at the same time while trying to maintain a facade and trying to hurt you as much as possible. He is trying that last bit very hard for a variety of reasons. Trying to make everything seem like he is the victim. Honestly, if he's anything like my ex, I don't know that it's ALL a conscious thought that drives them like this. I think they are running scared and bat*it crazy and need a way to make the bad feelings stop. When the initial foray doesn't seem to bring enough relief, they push harder. And harder. And harder. Until you are no longer in the line of sight. Then they find another target for their feelings or bury them really deep for the next explosive episode.
That is dysfunctional.
If it helps, when I snooped, I found similar. It's just part of it, and later it helps in the breaking of the connection. You'll be surprised how helpful what is now hurtful can later be. I was.
I'm flying home today and will be tied up most of the early part of the week. I'll check back on you later, but I suspect you'll be doing even better by then. I know it is painful to have found that confirmation, and repulsive at the same time. You have one of those MLCrs that wants a divorce, wants to actively hurt you, and is bats*t crazy at the same time. Welcome to the club. :)Please be sure to keep your hands and feet inside the cabin at all times. Please keep the aisles clear. I'm thinking of having t-shirts made up and the logo will likely be somebody trying to eat cereal while sitting on the ceiling
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
