It has been a thought time here and since the legal s have been finished WAS has got worse. She is still trying to get money from the pension, despite the split being agreed in the legal settlement she has approached the trustees to ask them to consider her interests.
WAS on Monday informed me that OM, who she was denying existed a fortnight ago is coming on holiday with the children and her for a week from today. nothing I can do about it except focus on the children. He was introduced to them last weekend and gave my S8 a drive in his car, which happens to be his favourite type of sports car (think 007) and then played S8 favourite game on the xbox360.
WAS rental house is advertised as being available for rent and is under offer. She won't tell me if they are moving or what she has said to the children about OM. she continually acts aggressively, lots of snide remarks at pickup about personal matters, asking if I have been drinking, commenting on appearance which is totally unnecessary. I really need to let go of the rope as I think she is enjoying seeing if she can get a bite.
Yesterday she sent me an email saying, get a grip, take responsibility and drop the victim mentality. all I asked was to know what the children have been told about OM. I am not acting like a victim, I am socialising, working hard, I rode a 100 mile sportive cycle in England last sun, my first 100 in sub 6 hours. I know she is angry and feels she was treated unfairly in the legals, but she Walked away and had affair, to be honest if I had given her everything I still think she would be like this which is why I held my ground.
I would appreciate any advice, I think I have to completely dark, not instigate and not event reply unless it is an important matter affecting the children. I must learnt not to be drawn into discussions which just feed her anger and resentment. Positively nothing she is doing affects my PMA, I feel good about myself and am focusing on the things tht are important, my own goals, social life, work and sport. I am enjoying talking to woman but not rushing into anything and feel great to have my house sorted.
please help me work to a plan to deal with the WAS
I think your analysis is spot on. She is lashing out right now and there's nothing you can do about it except show her that it doesn't bother you. (By the way, nothing she does affects you at all...got it?)
Be patient. Keep your cool. Be the man you want to be.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
