How can you mend a broken heart?

[RosaLinda]

"if he wanted to be with me - he would. i can't stop thinking that...."

No think this way - if he wanted to be WITHOUT you, he would. He's the one who keeps coming home to NJ. 

"HONESTLY- if he ever regained his normal self- i don't think it would be a problem- BUT UNTIL he gets the notion on his own- i can't bring myself *(yet) TO EVEN try. did that make sense.??/ i admire your guts-
back scratch??? always a winner - in almost any sitch for touching thatis welcome and feels great???"

I don't think I'll have the nerve to try a back scratch. Hand on the arm or shoulder is about my level of courage now. The hug was a big risk but I couldn't help it, my heart was so full of love I thought I would burst. And I didn't even get one of those one-arm-stiff-as-a-board hugs back. Just the fish eye. But he did not flinch away, that made me  pathetically happy. I AM pathetic I guess. 

"i'm struggleing with the "loving enough to let him go" - can't really get the jist.
i mean, if he HAS to go- i cannot stop him. if he doesn't love me - i can't make him. if he's insane (which he is) i can't fix him-
but how can it be loving him enough? i mean- i must care somehow big bwecause i'm here. do i wish him to be happy with ow? not on your nellie. i want them to crash and burn and for him to weep bitter tears over his stupidity and trashing the best person who will ever love him most (uh hem- that would be me)
can you explain somehow that i can understand what clicks with you- that you "get it".?? just curious- as dopey as it sounds - the feeling eludes me - even the concept."

To me, loving someone enough to let them go means to love him enough to give him space and time to work out his problems, to work on whatever caused this MLC. To not give him an ultimatum that will stop his search for happiness right now. They are so unhappy with life, with growing older, feeling like failures. Feeling that way couldn't be their own fault Nero, so they blame ot on the most handy person, us! They are searching desperately for something that will make the pain go away. Hoping a Fat Fvcking Cow or Rusdian Twat will do the trick. 

Loving my H enough to let him go means not trying to impede him on his progress thru the tunnel. Just be there for him when he notices me. In his case, it involves this trip to Russia. But I'm trying to let him go all together, I don't mean just let him go on his trip of discovery. 

But believe me, I hope my H and the Tramp crash and burn too. But I won't try to stop him. 

"(unless it's that bit about his happiness transcending your own?0) thati understnd- but don't feel anymore."

No his happiness does not transcend mine. But I do want him to be happy. It burns me up to think of him living with RT for a month. But if that's what he needs to do right now, okay. I think he would be totally out of his mind to divorce me and marry her but if that would make him happy, okay. 

I honestly believe he is going to get over his infatuation one day and turn his heart back to me. I've got a lot to work on during the interim, but if I get tired of waiting, Plan B! And I'll be a great catch for some nice guy on the grocery store line!

"reading this- i have to say I honestly don't think there WERE ANY GIANT PROBLEMS. MY THOUGHTS are that we'd have "felt it" if there were. i think they manufacture them in retrospect - to justify their own treason."

Exactly. And some day they will realize their treason and all the false reasons and turn their eyes and hearts back to us. 

"so are you GUYS REALLY GONNA VISIT??? IT will be so cool to meet up- "

Yes on Saturday Sept 14th. Think of some place we can meet you, so you can look us over and inspect the car for axes.