you still do not have your anxiety disorder under control, and to someone needing to get a little something on the side having a partner in psychological distress is a huge reason to want to escape.
a few things that stand out. you are as needy as a teenage girl with all this relationship temperature taking. look at the title to your thread, emotional connection and attraction, what if your wife read that? think the first thought in your wife's head might "be a little anxious, huh?" then you are spying on her online activity and cell phone, and noting the location of her vibrators. Poor girl must feel creeped out most of the time.
another thing here is there is no talk of what you do for yourself as a MAN. Do you play golf, fish, got a sport? Reading through your hundred some odd posts, I'm reading our relationship this, my wife said that, taking with her girlfriends about your relationship, I need emotional connection. Yet another huge turn off.
Only piece of advice I can give you is go back to Divorce Busting and read the section about the foxes and the rabbits, I think its called the butterfly effect, then re-read your posts and take notes as to when the population of rabbit increase and when the fox dominates, and try to understand why you blow it every time you reach equilibrium.
