Husband Threatened to Leave, Don't know what to do

[Lll54]

I mean, his behavior is REALLY unacceptable, right? It's making you miserable? If so, then why let him do it to you?

Well at this point I would rather find a way to deal with it until we are back on track. Things are too sensitive right now to bring something like this up...if ever. He is a very independent person and hates when people tell him what to do so for me to voice this...would get me nowhere.

Yes, you might push him to really leave you, but what is the alternative? Not knowing day to day what he's going to be like? Falling apart every time he stays out late, or says something you don't want to hear?

The alternative is him leaving and losing my husband. Not a great alternative for me....he was like this last time he came home too. Pushed the envelope. I remember a few weeks after he was home he went on a New Years Ski trip with a bunch of people, including wives and didn't invite me. He crosses the line cause he knows I won't say anything. But if I do then he gets mad and will leave.

Why is that bad? Was this guy pushing him to leave you the first time?

No he didn't push him to leave he was just single and always available to go out drinking and we never really got along so I don't assume he talked good sense into H. I think that's why H and him grew apart, he didn't really like him.

STOP MIND-READING. It's never done you any good. If your relationship is based on you trying to figure out exactly what you need to say and how you need to act to make him happy, that's not a healthy marriage.

This brings tears to my eyes because its exactly how I feel. I'm trying to say the perfect thing and act the perfect way to keep him happy and in a good mood when inside I'm so sad and spent.

I don't think the 4am stunts are acceptable either.

Glad I'm not the only one...he never used to come home after 2:30 at the latest...now 4? It's like he is staying out as long as he possibly can to see how I will react. It's like he was in a war with me to see who will give in first...him coming home or me texting askin where the hell he is. Unfortunately I lost.