Harder and Harder..............II

[Positivespin]

W does not notice anything accept anything that can get her more angry with me............

Just returned from a c session with my W regarding progress with D3. When we agreed that D3 is doing wonderful and W is just now developing a bond with her now that she has alone time with her at her apartment.

"But it will all change if I have to move back in Oct if the house isnt sold.".....she says. "Its obvious that you dont want the house sold. Its YOUR fault the house isnt sold and it will be your fault when I have to move back and confuse D3."

M-Im sorry that I have not been able to get everything done. Ive been trying..........

W- I told you that I would take D3 more so that you could get that stuff done.........

Me- THATS my problem! Im not going to give up my time with D3 to do the crap YOU want done. I have been working on this list on your days.

C- W, what are you doing about these things you say need to be done?

W- Well ive offered to pay someone to do them....

C- W. If you wanted them done and its not done fast enough for you why didnt you call someone to do it. Its pretty dumb stuff. and your being very hard on him.....

W. I just dont understand why its not done........

Anyway.......I learned that I immediately blame myself, make myself the failure and zone out to try to stop the pain. TODAY, I learned that we should have created a list of all the tasks and had dates on it where If the task is not done a pro gets the call to do it.

It actually felt like the type of MC session we should have had before she decided to run. We actually left speaking with each other.

Next meeting is in October. Im busy finding a way to ensure she does not step foot in the house come October if the OM or ANY OM still exists. I will not put myself thru that again. I dont deserve that.

Im going back to Boston!!!!!!!!!