Here were the detailed things: (they be different than other people's since I am divorced and no longer saving the marriage)

1. My name on the house (he NEVER did that when we were married - very WRONG to do that)
2. Share expenses and create common goals (he had a hard time sharing money)
3. No more EA outside of work (work relationship only)
4. Move to another house if it calls for it
5. Spend time together, set aside quality time together (we failed to do that and drifted apart over the years)
6. Show me I am the best thing that happened to him
7. If he becomes unhappy. or I do, we discuss it and figure it out.

8. Here is the one he had problems with. He said to me when I asked him for a promise of commitment, that he could not predict the future and he could turn out to be an [censored] in ten years and have an affair. I told him NOT GOOD ENOUGH ANSWER for me. I won't tolerate that. I wrote him a letter detailing what a promise of commitment means to me: show and say your love, understand that there will ALWAYS be temptation, but what kind of person is he...a man who acknowledges that and understand the consequences of that, or a man who does what he want, consequences be had. I told him if he even has one pinky toe out of the relationship, that means someone else can get in between us. He has to have the intent in his heart to be committed, even when life gets bad. And if he is not happy, he at least lets me know, before he does something, so I have a say in this also.

I think I every right to ask this of him. It is a strong prerequisite of mine, as would any woman or man have. I know the future is always uncertain, but you can predetermine your actions by what is most important to you.

So, we'll see. He never responded to my letter, and that is okay. He has called me every night to just say hi, so that is a good sign.

So, at least know you can see why I am still thinking things through. I think with Ex, he is a bit dense. He believes trust and commitment come in time, through both of us working at it, and he is right, but you also need to have both feet grounded in that belief as well. Not the I am the best thing now, until the best other thing comes around. I wont stand for that in my life. I deserve the best, as does he.