We are all here for pretty much the same reasons, so having said that none of us are experts... Only YOU know what's best for you and your sitch. Pray and Pray often. You say you are all ears, sometimes we need to turn down the volume. Be still, Be patient. You can NOT change your spouse bur God can and the notion that she "needs" or "should" be doing something at this point might not be the most accurate assesment. Only you know what works for YOU. Love conquers all, UNCONDITIONAL love that is. Make love you guide. With your kids, spouse, neighbor, coworker, parents and so on... Stay positive. Again that doesn't mean be weak or a pushover but above all LOVE...
Love will transform you... Does that mean she won't leave? NO? But it does continue to improve you.
