Thought I would recap. This is more a log for me, than anything else. We are getting back together, in about 3 months, when my lease is up. Well at least we tentatively agreed to give it another shot, get married again, start a life.
V-day weekend was very good. Our "summit peace talks" as I liked to call them, went very well. I arrived Thursday night, and we were both awash in smiles, and beer, at a local bar. It was nice. Afterward, we went back to the house (my house) and it felt a little weird, since I thought I would never be there again. However, it felt right at the same time. Ex had pictures of us all over the place, and I asked him, did he have these up recently, and he said no, he had put them up last January (when we divorced). Interesting, since he had women in the house, at had at least two relationships, I can imagine that made them uncomfortable. It touched my heart, because it meant he never let us go, in his heart.
Friday, we spent the day going to bookstores, holding hands, getting some dinner, to make at home, movies to watch. Very nice.
We talked Friday night. I had a list of 7 things I needed to cover with him, that are important, going forward. He understood and agreed to all of them. He had 2..which of course we fine. We talked about trying for a baby this year, about what will be different for us both, going forward, how we need to love and respect each other, and turn to each other to work things out. He said I was wonderful! That he always loved me. He didn't want me to leave. Said he wanted his life to start and he wanted his life to start with me. A girl he has been on a few dates with, called him Saturday to see if he could help her with her computer, and he said he could not talk to her, I was there. Impressive! Also, he ahs been slowly telling people we are getting back together!
There was one issue, we are still working on. I wrote him a letter explaining exactly what I need. He can reflect on it, and think about it when he wants. I think being firm, keeping my boundaries with him, showing love and respect to him, and letting him know I need to know his needs and wants too, is what will make this work. I know I don't need him, and that makes all the difference. Now we are equals.
It made me smile ear to ear. Sunday, we went to see his parents, and they were so excited. After he dropped me off, he went back to see them and told them this time, things would be different between us, (this coming from his mother in an email to me)...
Now forward to me now, I still I am very scared. Still weary. Still need time to process all of this. And I hope with this time we now have apart, I can truly sift through all my emotions and come to an understanding about whether this is the right thing for me or not. All I know is he is my best friend and I love him, like I have never loved anyone else. I am just waiting for my heart and mind to meet. And to continue to DB, effectively for the rest of my life.
