Well I admit now I am lost as to what is going on in this thread. As for being disinterested, MarcD I do have to agree with you somewhat, although I would term it best, not willing to be hurt again. Take the power back. I don't want to ever go through life disinterested or playing games all the time (although sometimes we have to or more appropriately, we do unconsciously), with acting as if I could care less.
What I can do is keep my own power and control my emotions. I am learning. It is hard. I would say it is retraining my brain every day to think positive thoughts, versus the negative ones that seem to control my emotions sometimes. And I realize part of my issue is I don't trust Ex yet. At all. But I willing to try, if he is.
Last night, he called and we talked. He is taking his ad off the internet, and made it clear he only wanted to see me and could not wait until I came up soon. He was even talking about when we are old, and decrepit, would I be able to beat him at tennis...
Then he called again two hours later, to ramble on about his tennis, etc.
I came to realize something last night.
1. Obviously we both still have communication issues. That has not been solved yet, because it is twice as hard to see each other being this far away.
2. Second, I ALLOWED him to cross all my boundaries while we were separated. Basically I showed him how I wanted to be treated: with no respect. Granted, I DB a lot and there were times, that I could see results immediately.
So I am taking small steps, defining my boundaries to him all the time, and trying to communicate in effective ways. Our "summit peace talks" for V-day weekend, will hopefully prove to be interesting and maybe, hopefully a new start to a better relationship.
