Newcomer's brief summary

[doubledown]

Looking for some experience here. I am reading DR and have set some short-term goals regarding what I would like to see change about my marriage.

Here's the big question: currently, my wife is in a very passionate affair with OM and has no idea that I am aware. So, how do I move forward with improving aspects of our marriage and setting these goals when W is enveloped in the "affair fog" in her relationship with OM?

Here are some of my short term goals:
- want her to end affair by December 25, 2013
- have her initiate conversations with me, calls, texts.
- have her approach me and want to be around me
- see me as I make improvements, notcie that I'm a kind, loving, patient father to our boys and become engaged with us.
- consistently agree with her feelings and not question them
- start spending time together; go out, dinner, movie, something!
- have her want to come home earlier and want to be here with me and be happy while at home.

Are these goals realistic? What are some suggestions for working toward these goals without pushing her or pissing her off? Or, do I have to wait for if or when this affair dies on it's own?

Looking for some guidance...