NERO FLOATING- throw that line.....

[albamarie]

I am the kind of person who is a happy faithful trusting idiot if she just gets a couple of hugs every day. My H knows this about me Nero, and if he just wanted to have a secret affair with a Russian Twat, he knows he could hide his secret by just hugging me. I would happily trust him and let him go on his way. Does your H know that about you too?

I am! Oh, h could have been enemy number one on the FBI list and he could have kept me I hugs until they busted throw the door. And, my dumb a$$ would have been screaming in his defense.

Why would we want to see the bad in them, this was our life, we trusted and loved them and we believed they honored us today as they did yesterday, why should we live expecting the worst.

It's not our fault, it's not a reflection on you Nero, any more than it is on any of us, give it to your h who deserves the blame.

When I wrote to you I was trying to say that you are amazing. And it bothers me to see you putting yourself down in regards to him.

I have been telling you this for some time Nero, insult him, take it out on him, you have to stop putting yourself in such a bad light and assuming he thinks this about you.

Who cares anyway what he thinks, devalue his opinion, now see yourself as we do, and those who love you.

I understand what you said about always putting his happiness before yours. I did the same in my marriage.

We as women have a different role on earth, we are nurturing, gentle, loving, beautiful creatures who give this part of ourselves freely to all who cross our path. I feel we are the living breathing equivalent to nature, and all her complexity.

We are always going to give more than we get, or in another way...we don't expect much back, we give freely. Our H, children or even family are the best "takers" and we're not naive to the fact but we love them and don't really mind.

Its when they mistreat our gifts that we stand up for ourselves, become aware of just what is going on outside of the perfect world we created around us.

Speaking for myself, I feel cheated, taken advantage of, maybe even used for my good graces, it's something I need to work out for myself.

H could have gone on with his life and I wouldn't have known much. But, h did disclose everything, never hiding his cell calls, never changing his passwords, even using his debit card that shows all. Why?

Well I read somewhere they need us, so they don't get lost in MLC land, not as a witness, but a life line. My h also doesn't think it so bad because there is no PA, tho he is changing that tune a bit.

Nero, your h is going to do what he wants, and he is trying to make himself feel better by believing he's being honest with you. You did perfect walking out, I'm a huge advocate of WAW.

Go home to NJ and make your life, try to keep his visits...his visits, not yours because you don't have time for him, because you are busy making a new life.

Said all with love, dm!